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Miscellaneous Jokes
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There are three people. They are stranded
on an island. They want to get away by swimming to the main land. The
first person tries but can only swim 1/4 the distance and then drowns. The
second person tries, but gets only 1/2 the way, so the person drowns. The
third person gets 1/2 way and then gets tired, so she goes back. |
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A fellow tries to cross the Mexican border
on a bicycle with two big bags balanced on his shoulders. The border guard
asks, "What's in the bags?" The fellow says, "Sand!" The guard wants to
examine them. The fellow gets off the bike, places the bags on the ground,
opens them up, and the guard inspects...only to find sand. The fellow
packs the sand into the bags, places them on his shoulders, and pedals the
bike across the border. Two weeks later, the same situation is
repeated.... "What have you there?" "Sand" "We want to examine it." Same
results...nothing but sand and the fellow is on his way again. Every two
weeks for a year the inspections continue. Eventually, the border guard
retires and one day he happens to see the guy downtown. He says to the
fellow, "Buddy, you drove me crazy. I know you were smuggling something.
For 30 years I was a border guard and I thought I'd seen everything, but I
was never been able to figure out what you were up to. I won't say
anything, but what were you smuggling?" The fellow says, "Bicycles." |
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Detective job vacancy. Three men were
applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was
Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just
one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man
arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?"
The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The
chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his
interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed
by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the
Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He
thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think
about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the
Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How did the interview went?". Pat
came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a
murder. |
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Hina: “I haven’t slept in the last five nights. I keep dreaming about a
door with a sign on it. I push and push, but the door still won’t open.”
Jony: “What does the sign say?”
Hina: “Pull”
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Over drinks one evening two gentleman were
having a discussion about the charms, or lack there-of of the supermodel
Cindy Crawford 'I say she's highly over-rated,' said one 'Take away her
eyes, her lips, her legs and that figure, and what have ya got ? 'My wife'
said the other with a heavy sigh
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Two men had bought two horses. They wanted
to do something so they could recognize their horses. One cut its ears.
Unluckily, the other did the same. Then the first man cut his horse's
tail. The second man did the same with his horse too. They were still
thinking of something to differentiate their horses, a man passed by. They
asked him "Can you tell how we can recognize our horses?" "Sure", the man
said. "One is black and one is white".
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